


I Wish I Knew You In Real Life

by Evelyn_Harrison



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Also Evan is a writer and Connor is an artist, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, BDAY fic for @ashing-though-the-snowo from tumblr!!, Fluff, Internet Best Friends AU, M/M, Some angst, Texting, cause I have no idea how any other social media’s work, cause PLOT device, ohh man this is going to be a fun one shot, they are like best friends online but have never met, they both have a tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-08-20 11:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16554770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evelyn_Harrison/pseuds/Evelyn_Harrison
Summary: a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: hey, i know that we have only known each other for like,,,,,,, half a yeara-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: but i wanna see u, in real lifean-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: [is typing...]an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: Me too.





	I Wish I Knew You In Real Life

**Author's Note:**

> Ehhh??? Another AU when I should be working on the NaNoWriMo YWP, TtS and Btbh???? No, can’t be!!
> 
> But this goes out to @ashing-though-the-snowo for a bday fic! Happy bday!! :D (I also apologize for such a late fic, life has been smacking me in the face and it’s not fun at all! I hope that this fic is at least okay, and I hope that you enjoy it!)
> 
> Tumblr URLs:
> 
> Evan — an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees  
> Connor — a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen  
> 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: hey, i know that we have only known each other for like,,,,,,, half a year_

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: but i wanna see u, in real life_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: [is typing...]_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: Me too._

 

Evan stared at his laptop screen, gently tapping his hands on the rim of the device. He thinks back to when they first met, on that cursed hellsite (known as Tumblr) through a post that Evan made. He couldn’t help but to feel that bit of light that he found since he met Connor.

———

It was around a year ago, when Evan first come across Tumblr as his (now) social media of choice. He didn’t know what to do, really, but had an idea of what he wanted his blog to be. 

He would reblog posts about nature, specifically trees. He’d post daily pictures of different trees everyday, and he his blog slowly became a blog that people would follow for reducing stress. 

Evan was okay with that. He didn’t want to be popular, he just wanted to help out. What good is it if he can’t help others? He feels that he would be _enough_. He wasn’t at school, he was invisible in real life. But at least this small blog of his made him feel like he left an impact. 

It was ironic, however, when he found himself at the base of the tallest tree at the Apple Orchard, Sunny Smiles. How, instead of taking a picture of it, he was going to climb up it and end everything. Less stress turned to more stress, instead of relieving his and everyone’s anxiety, it would bubble up and cause him to say goodbye. 

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees posted: If you’re falling in a forest, and there’s nobody around, did you ever even crash or even make a sound? Will any of you sing a requiem for me? Will anyone even notice me? Will I ever be more than I’ve always been? Did I do enough to impact anyone’s life? Was I even a part of anyone’s life? Will I be seen? ~Sincerely, Me_

 

He never thought that someone would say anything else. Or even respond or like his post. He was so sure that he would be like any other anonymous person in the world. He was sure that he’d be forgotten too. And Evan was okay with that. Okay that he wouldn’t be remembered, wouldn’t be noticed. A final call, a final attempt to reach out. 

Evan was okay. He would be okay again, right?

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen reblogged: holy fuck dude, dont do that. idk what life has done to u, but ur blog is the only shit that helps me cope with my shitty life. and knowing that someone i follow and hope to reach out to is going to die really fucking sucks. and yea, i noticed u. u made an impact in my life and im happy that i met u. im a hypocrite too, i said what u posted. dude, dont die. u being here means a lot. u have made a huge impact in so many peoples life, even if u dont think so. ~sincerely, me_

 

Evan remembers crying when he read that. He remembers climbing down the tree when he read that, he remembers walking away from the tree and back home. He remembers lying in bed, re-reading that over and over and over again. 

_Someone cared. Someone did notice me._

Evan doesn’t know how, he doesn’t know why, but from that night on, he reached out too and started to talk with this person who went by _a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen._ This person cared. This person like Evan, he put up with Evan’s shit and this person was Evan’s only friend. 

He was someone Evan could relate too. 

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees posted: I wanna thank @a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen because they’re the only person who reached out to me when no one else did, they’re the only person who cares for me and appreciates my existence. They’re the only person who I feel like I can trust, who is going through the same thing I’m going through and who would sing a requiem if I were to fall. Thank you for everything, thank you for being my friend. ~Sincerely, Me_

 

It was around three months in until Evan could really talk to this person with ease. At first, Evan introduced himself as Elijah, and his friend introduced himself as Carter. But coming this close to Carter, Evan only felt that it was fair to tell the truth, to show a part of himself that he thinks that Carter should see.

He was going to reveal himself later on, but his plans were rushed when Carter DMed him with only one text.

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: im sorry, eli_

 

Sorry for what? What did Carter have to be sorry for? Evan felt a rush of panic as he sent a series of desperate messages, hoping that he would be able to reach out. Hoping that he could make a difference and that he would be able to save him. Like how Carter saved Evan. 

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: Remember the time when we first met? You saved me, you gave me a reason to stay here. Please don’t go, don’t leave me alone. I can’t let you go, I can’t let you die because of me. I miss you, please come back to me. ~Sincerely, Evan_

 

He couldn’t let this person go, he couldn’t let him slip away. Evan wasn’t ready to say goodbye, because goodbye meant that he was never going to see him again, never going to be able to say ‘Hi’ or ‘How are you?’ again. Evan couldn’t allow himself to fall apart again. 

It was around a few days later until he got a reply. Evan was at school, holding his books against his chest as he got a notification. Dropping his books in the middle of the hallway, he slid to the ground and cried out in relief. 

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: oh my god, im so sorry. im so sorry for scaring u and hurting u. i was in a shitty place when i wrote that. i thought of u as i was about to end it all. and i thought of u when i put the bottle down and when i went back to bed. im such a shitty person, i made u suffer and in pain cuz of me. im so sorry, evan. ~sincerely, connor_

 

They might not be okay, they might still be broken, but at least they weren’t alone.

———

Evan nearly fell asleep when he zoned back into reality, and noticed that Connor had texted him back. He smiles, that warmth feeling in his chest and he wants to hug his nearby pillow. Hiding half of his face in his pillow, he grins and reads Connor’s reply. They talk for around an hour or two more before Evan says goodbye, logging off and closing his laptop shut.

The night passes slowly, and Evan thinks about Connor. He thinks, what if, they actually where able to meet? That they would be able to see each other and talk and be like how they are online. What if Connor goes to Evan’s school secretly?

No no no, Connor lives a few hours away from Evan. They live in the same state, but they’re just so far away. A three hour drive away, Evan wouldn’t have much time to sneak out during school, meet up with Connor and then drive back. His mom would know, and his teachers would know that he’s skipping, and then everything would go wrong and he’d end up dead in a ditch. Great, just great.

But he also thinks of the possibilities of them being to meet up. What would Connor look like in real life? What would his actual voice sound like? Is his smile like how Evan sees them from pictures? Oh god, what would Connor think of Evan? Would he like how Evan looks and how would he think of him? Would Connor realize how much of a mess Evan is and then peace out at the last second, leaving Evan alone? 

“Hnnn...” Evan groans, turning to his side and hugging his pillow. He closes his eyes and forces those kinda intrusive thoughts away. He tries to stay positive and think of the good outcomes. 

“I wish I knew you in real life...”

———

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: oh fuck, evan, guess what??_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: What happened?_

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: i figured out how to meet up w/ u_

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: without either of us getting busted and shit. and that our parents wont freak the fuck out if we do meet_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: Really??? How!!?_

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: we submit our shit into that writing contest thing but u submit a story and i submit artwork_

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: literally ur writing is so fucking good and if those judges don’t accept u i will personally key their cars_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: First of all: Please don’t key their cars. Second, I think it’s a great idea!!! And you’re artwork is always so powerful, I know that the judges will love anything you draw! :DDD_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: But the contest is soon, and we only have a month to work on it..._

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: that means in 2 or 3 months we can see each other_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: Oh my gosh!!! You’re so right!! Ahhh, I can’t believe that this is happening! We can totally do this, and we can meet in 3 months!!! :D_

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: im pretty fucking good at this, arent i?_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: You’re amazing at everything! <333_

 

_———_

From that day on, Evan worked his hardest to create a story that he was proud of and enjoyed. For a month, he was able to write a 1,500 word short story about his friendship with Connor, but under the names of Elijah and Carter. For a month, he was able to craft a story that reflected his own personal growth and how much Connor really means to him.

 

 _an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: Carter has made such an impact on my life. He was the one that helped me through all of this darkness I couldn’t overcome myself, he was the one who helped me see the light I desperately needed to see. I was also the one who helped him overcome his shadows and demons, and to help him reach up and rise again. We can’t_ just _be friends, there’s something more to this._

 

Maybe they both just needed each other to lean on, maybe they just were meant to just be friends. To find each other when either of them where hurt, to heal those wounds that they thought could never be closed.

_What ever happens, it’s all so that I can meet him. I want to meet him, and I want to see him. I hope our paths can cross and that we don’t have to just be friends online. I want something more than just that._

_———_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: I’m going to submit my story in now, how about you?_

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: hell yeah im ready for this shit_

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: Okay! Three... two... one..._

 

Evan clicked on the button for submitting his story to the email that he was supposed to send it too, and it showed him that the email was successfully sent. He sits back and thinks, before smiling and feeling relieved. He checks his phone as sees that Connor submitted his artwork, and his smile grows. 

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: I can’t wait to see you._

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: me too_

 

_———_

Evan comes homes right away after school, running to his laptop and opening up his email account. Today is the day where he can see if he makes it into the contest, if his story was good enough to be featured into the short stories anthologies. He drops his bag to the side of his bed frame, climbing onto his bed and folding his legs under him.

His eyes scan the emails that’s in his inbox, heart racing as he tries to find a reply back to his story submission.

Scrolling... scrolling... and nothing.

Evan’s heart drops and he feels his shoulders droop, the air in his lungs leaving him. “It’s not... here.” His mind races and he realizes, his story wasn’t good enough to get in, he won’t be featured into the contest like he wanted to be in again. His writing wasn’t as good as last years, he hasn’t improved enough.

Shakily logging onto Tumblr, he sees that Connor DMed him. 

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: oh shit oh shit oh shit!! Ev!! i made it in, holy fuck my art would be featured! i can finally be able to see u soon!_

 

His heart drops even further, and he feels tears in his eyes. Evan’s story wasn’t chosen as an honourable mention, he won’t be able to see Connor. Connor’s hopes is up to see him, but Evan would have to blow out the candles of Connor’s hope.

Tears blurring his vision, he trembles as he responds.

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: Connor..._

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: I didn’t make it in. My story wasn’t chosen to be featured into the analogy._

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: what? the hell, ur story was fuckin gr8???? who the fuck are the judges, i will key their cars if they didnt choose ur story! the fuck, this isnt fair!_

 

It’s not, it wasn’t fair. Nothing is fair, he couldn’t even do the one thing that could make him happy. To make each other happy. _A failure, you’re a goddamn failure, you won’t ever be able to see you ‘friend’ and he probably hates you too._

_Dammit, dammit, dammit. You fucked up, you’re going to die alone and everything you did, everything you tried to do, your friends and family will mean nothing. Disappointment, lazy, worthless little—_

He hears a ping from his laptop, his head turning to see what it was. He refreshes the screen, to see an email from the people who are running the contest.

 

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_We are very honoured to tell you that you have placed FIRST in the Teen’s YouWillBeFound Short Story Contest for your category! We also apologize for the late email, our systems were down for the day and everyone else we tried to contact received a late email as well._

_As you know, we will be hosting multiple events at public libraries so that authors and artists can show off their works and present them! You will also receive a free copy of the book!_

_There are also multiple radio stations that you can read your story on with other authors, and presentations that you can attend at other towns who would love to hear your story! We will email you more information about what will be happening in the next few months, so stay tuned!_

_Sincerely,_

_Mr. Reyes and Mrs. Flemings (YWBF Contest Organizers and Judges)_

 

The heaviness that was weighed on his shoulders suddenly disappeared, and Evan let out a cry of relief. He holds his phone in his hands and tells Connor the news, before beaming and clutching his phone close to his chest.

 

_a-loser-who-is-waiting-to-be-seen: dude, im so fucking proud of u. no homo, but love u lots_

 

Evan’s heart races and he blushes. Maybe there is more to this online friendship. Evan seriously could fall in love with Connor, he seriously could be crazy in love with a boy that understands him, that gets him, that accepts him for who he is. He doesn’t feel worthless, he doesn’t feel alone anymore. Not with Connor on the other side of the screen that separates them.

 

_an-open-field-thats-framed-with-trees: I love you too. <3_

 

Falling back down, he stares up to the ceiling of his room, counting the glows stars that was put up there since he was young. He beams and covers his face, overwhelmingly happy.

“I want to see you, Con. It’s not so impossible.”

———

“Okay, okay okay okay.” Evan mutters to himself, looking at his phone over and over again to see if Connor texted him at all. Nothing so far, but that’s fine. There’s no wifi here anyways, it’s not like Connor could be able to text him.

“How are you feeling, hun? Getting first place for a story you wrote, it feels great, right?! I’m so, so proud of you, your writing has gotten so much better from last year! Tying for third and then getting first? My gosh, amazing!” His mom continues to talk and drive, smiling like a ray of sun.

Evan does feel good about it. He did something he didn’t think he could accomplish, he made his mark. And plus, he can see Connor! How great is that?

“This is it, right? 420 Sunny Smiles Road, this looks like the right place! Wow, this is so much different than what I thought it would be!” Heidi pulls into the parking lot, killing the engine and both of them hop out of the car. Evan walks in a bit faster than his mom, looking around to see if he could find Connor. 

He has a picture of Connor with him, and he hopes that it’s not some 40 year old pervert wanting to kill him. Hoping that Connor isn’t some person who was cat fishing him to steal his money.

Staring at his phone, Evan examines Connor’s facial features from what he has sent him. Long dark brown hair, brilliant icy blue eyes, a small smile, high cheekbones and honestly, who wouldn’t wanna date him? Evan surely would—

Suddenly, he feels something immediately stop Evan as he collides into the person, falling back a bit and stumbling on his shoes. Evan feels a hand wrap about his waist to stop him from falling (and social suicide), and he has to look up to see who saved him. 

Long dark hair, brilliant icy blue eyes, high cheekbones, tall (and hot) as hell...

“C-C-Connor?” Evan stammers out, face instantly heating up and he almost drops his phone. The person stares at him for a second, before _smiling_  and pulling Evan into a hug. Evan’s face is buried into the soft hoodie, and he feels warmth smothering him.

“Holy fucking shit, I didn’t think that I would see you.” Connor says, excitement in his voice and Evan can hear Connor smile even more. “We finally got to meet, Ev.”

Evan didn’t think that he could fall in love with someone this fast, someone who he didn’t really know and didn’t really know him. Yet this was Connor; they’ve been talking for months online and video calling each other when ever they had the chance to. They know more about each other than their friends know them. Even though Evan hangs out with Jeremy and Michael at school, both of them don’t really know what Evan has gone through, what Evan is dealing with everyday.

Connor releases Evan from his hug, revealing Evan’s (still red) face. Connor’s face turns a bit pink too, and he shoves his hands into his pocket. “Sorry, I’m not usually that touchy or clingy... I just have been so fucking excited to see you, and I’m glad you’re not some drug dealer or anything.”

Nodding, Evan tucks away his phone and brushes some strands of his hair behind his ears. “M-me too. I’m happy that you’re real and not... some sort of person who would catfish me...” He lets out a little laugh, so relieved that Connor is real and is his age, that their friendship of 6 months were real.

They stand in their spots for a few moments, before Connor holds out his hand to Evan. “Dude, lets get your first place prize. You deserve it.” 

“Y-you too.” Blinking, Evan reaches out his hand and takes Connor’s. It’s warm and soft, and he doesn’t want let go of their friendship and possible romance (in the near future.) His heart beats rapidly, and he beams up to Connor. 

They walk into the large conference room, hand in hand, where their stories and art shine back at them. A story that would work out for them and leave them a happy ending. Something Evan and Connor always wanted, always wished to have. And they did get it in the end, with both of them in their stories. 

A happy ending, indeed.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all liked this one! It’s not my favourite work (Heart Control is.. hnnn I can’t believe I reached over 1000 hits!! OMG!!) but it does make me smile!
> 
> I also love love love kudos and comments! You make my day much better when you all do that! It’s very appreciated and I’d love you lots (I love all of my readers tbh).
> 
> If you wanna visit my tumblr, it’s https://trees-and-sky.tumblr.com !! I, uh, do stuff on it I guess... (aka please talk to me,,,,,,, I need reassurance XD)
> 
> P.S, IDK when the next chapter of Time to Shine will be out... or Born to Be Her... but either one of them will be out! I’m also brewing up another AU fic [Pastel Coloured Scrolls of the Seasons] cause I have no impulse control. (It’s an Awairo Emaki AU, and I love that manga so so so much hnnnn send help)
> 
> Anyways, long notes (I apologize!!) and I hope you all have an amazing day!! :DDD


End file.
